f=x+y (Lamentations of a Math Fool)
“I’m so tired of looking dumb for always flunking Math just because I don’t have time to learn it.”
-From the movie, ‘Ice Princess’
Algebra.Geometry.Trigonometry.Calculus.Name it,I’m idiotic in it.I don’t have a single inkling why in the world do I suck in Mathematics.Don’t take it as boasting but I know that I’m pretty smart.It’s as if as I was asleep when there was a shower of intelligence in that subject.Embarrassing as it may seem,I admit I was already having a hard time dealing with numbers back in elementary.I just got high grades back in grade 5 because my Math teacher was my father’s best buddy.Or I assume it was the reason.My struggle continued when I reached high school.As expected,it even became worse.I think I could have been good enough in my beloved subject if I had just listened to Mrs. C who was diligently teaching about a=b +c.I also have to blame it on my wide imagination.My mind would just drift away during my Math classes.Geometry came.Although it was just about planes and figures, I was uninterested.I chose to chitchat with my seatmates.That is one thing I don’t regret because they turned out to be great friends.If I’ll ever be given a chance to start over,I’d still prefer to chitchat with them than listen to our teacher.^_^
The school year started again and I still had low grades in Math,one of the lowest,to be specific.I suffered and still is the wrath of the consequences.People around me also know that I have an incurable,annoying disease.We all have it sometimes but in my case, it seems undaunted.Yes, it is none other than..(drum roll please)..laziness.It deprives me of doing the things I should do and even the ones I want to do.Somewhere in my schooling, I came to a realization(wow) that I don’t hate Math, I actually LOATHE it.I even blamed the philosophers who established Math as a subject for my pathetic fate.I know,that’s really stupid.I also hated every Math teacher I had merely because of the subject they were teaching.And boy, was the feeling mutual.I had also been humiliated in front of my classmates because of constant graded recitation in my Math subjects. I don’t know why I’m so lucky when it comes to graded recitations. I also feel sick attending my Math classes.Swear, it’s like I’m feverish or something.I also envied my siblings for being brilliant in Math. My sister is actually a Civil Engineer now. So I concluded that maybe intelligence is not genetic but it’s actually a gift that not everyone is endowed.Whatever.
Not being great or even good in Math is like an abominable anathema casted upon me.Because of my “stupidity” in it, some people think that I’m entirely an imbecile.And I’m exasperated of being thought as a feeble-minded creature just because I don’t want to study Math.For me,it’s boring yet detestable.My eyelids voluntarily close during my Math classes.Even if I sometimes try my hardest to study it, I really can’t. My mind just refuses to let the numbers in.And if it actually succeed in entering my mind, I would just forget everything about a certain topic.Sometimes, you really forget what you don’t want to remember.Did you ever had a feeling,like you want to scream when you see something that irritates you? That’s exactly how I feel when I see a Math book(be it Algebra or whatsoever).It excruciates me to even look at it.I always have the urge to haul it into a fire.And I would laugh as it turn into ashes.Hahah.Okay,I’m not a psycho,just to inform you.So I dismissed the thought of studying for my Math subjects. It’s quite ironic that the course I’m taking up is Business Administration which is usually said to be about computations,etc.But it is not really a Math-crazed course.You see, it only requires the basic operations(addition,subtraction,multiplication and division).But everyone faces the minor subjects in their first two years in college which are often pre-requisites.And so did I.I had a share of almost-flunking my Math subjects now in college.If it’s not a 3.0, it would be 2.8 0r 2.9. And I would be overjoyed if it turned out to be s 2.7.Yes, I feel like dancing in the rain.^_^
If you can relate to my story, then you’re “stupid”, too.xD Seriouly, it’s fine to be bad in Math.Who cares?You’ll not use the entire lessons that are being taught in Math, anyway.And there are millions, no, billions of people who surely hate Math, too.
“Mathematicians are like blind men in a dark room, looking for a black cat which is not there.”
